Quasi la la nàusea

Quasi la nàusea arran de totes aquelles paraules farcides de substàncies prescindibles, indesitjables.

Quin és aquest panorama de cotxes oficials customitzats, d’inodors sofisticats, d’idees poc adients en temps en què és preferible l’austeritat, de preferències mal definides (crear ministeris ara per col.locar-hi alguns amics i familiars??)...? i negació de l'evidència força sovint...

Vaig decidir llençar a la paperera uns quants prejudicis (tots són inútils i fan més mal que no pas bé) i vaig acabar expandint la meva mirada i la meva oïda cap a més mitjans de comunicació. Comporta més nàusees però al menys no hi ha només mots desitjats ni descripcions parcials. No vull escoltar només aquells que em puguin dir el que vull escoltar, el que vull llegir. Pel matí, diari “Público” i “El País”, tot dinant, potser una “La Vanguardia” o si en trobo, un “Avui”, al restaurant on vaig sempre....i de tant en tant, “El Mundo” i els diumenges l’”ABC”. Una mica de tot. A les ones, tant Catalunya Informació com la COPE. Fins ara no m'ha passat res. Sí tinc més criteri per criticar certes coses que es puguin dir i puc reflexionar millor amb més plantejaments. No es contagien els plantejaments conservadors ni entra febre...i hi ha continguts que valen la pena a mitjans que mai haguéssim pensat a tenir en compte. Tota la informació és bona si se sap emprar-la.

Sort que vaig votar partits verds que no van tenir una representació que els fés partíceps de cap vergonya....perquè poca cosa haguessin pogut fer.

Nàusea, com l'altre dia anant en cotxe (com és habitual)...descordinació entre cervell i cos, entre percepció visual de moviment mentre el cos roman quiet dins el vehicle. Nàusea: declaracions i boques que s'omplen de paraules grandiloqüents i promeses per penjar als titulars dels diaris....mentre els fets agafen d'altres direccions. Nàusea.

Brand new O-days

Yes....Obama is the new President, far away, but almost everywhere. I was even moved yesterday when I read the news. Happy for the coming of hope, happy for the possible improvement in the lives of many people...happy because it's a historical moment... Why can't Spain (and many other countries) have a president like him??? that charismatic, that well prepared, that good at connecting with the population???
The coming of the O-times ::)
I'm still moved...

flaire...i noms

...sorpresa. Cercant aromes abraçants per aquests temps estranys, alienants en que desconec qui mira des del mirall, qui viatja en tren a diari, qui navega entre pentagrames dibuixats a l'aire per Lévon Minassian, Djivan Gasparyan i Armand Amar...qui té un pas ràpid i àgil sense fugir ni anar enlloc, qui escriu això....Totes aquestes dones difuminades, de cop nítides, giratòries, ingràvides, sense lloc.

No calen identitats, noms com els que se suposen que donen certes marques, certes firmes. Ni en roba, ni en perfums ni en res. Paraules buides i que remarquen estupideses humanes i necessitats falses d'identitats que no porten enlloc.

Perfums cars de noms coneguts i publicitats....buidors per trobar llocs i reconeixements. Al mercadona vaig fixar-me en un pot de perfum curiós i vaig dir...a veure què tal. Fantàstic, simplement (aroma intens, dolç, persistent, càlid, abraçant...). L'únic que no m'agrada és el nom... precisament el que menys importa.

New frames

Seeing everything through new frames...In a strange week of changes, journeys to nowhere, cloudy mood and floating steps. Nothing concrete to darken my breathing, nothing concrete to make all spaces too cold and too large.
Whispering autumn behind the walls...And had some music hugging me, hugging this light and almost transparent body.

die rosaschuhige Eremitin

Graue Beine bis zum 7. Stock.


Rosa Schuhe den grauen Straßen entlang.


Seltsame Zeit...aber vielleicht ist sie ganz normal, für mich.

Die Zeit, die kommen sollte. die Zeit für die ich gemacht würde.

Gemachte rosaschuhige Eremitin.

Gewordene, gemachte, Ausgebaute...

Schöne Arbeit und wenig Zeit.

Sonnige Straßen, um alles zu erbreiten.

Züge wie immer.

Rosa Schuhe und eine leicht wiegende Seele.

Diese dünne Frau, die schreibt wird fast unsichtbar.

Fast ohne Korper...nur Farben, nur Formen.

Leicht wiegende Seele und rosa Schuhe.

whirl, whirl, whirl...

How long had I waited for this movie?? How many months? It was summer when I discovered Bab 'Aziz but had to wait until I could go to see it. On 7th March it was finally possible to watch it...but didn't go then. Waited. Something told me it was not the moment. Then the first afternoon session faded away the following week (living outside Barcelona it was a bit too late to go for the second/last session). But last week...again the early afternoon session...and at another cinema, in the centre of the city.

And I wasn't at all deceived (sometimes it happens when we expect lots from something or after waiting for a long time for something we want). Wonderful words, great music, incredible images. And then comes the creative side of the one who watch the movie, especially in the case of films like Bab 'Aziz. It's not just a story to see, to follow. The film continued (and continues) after leaving the cinema. Part of the melody of one of the songs kept in my mind and danced around my steps and my eyes.

A blind person across the desert. Would we really need our eyes to go across a desert?

how many deserts? where?

I found and created so many metaphors...I was lucky to have been reading about Ibn' Arabi and Farid Ud-din Attar and their works. If i hadn't I might have never been so interested in that movie. The circle is drawn: some texts in Bab 'Aziz come from the works by those sufi wise men (some other are from works by Jalal al-din Rumi, and other great figures)

The street looked so different after the film. It was cold but it wasn't cold. The movie had stepped out of the screen and wandered around, outside, not far from the path I followed and follow.

A few days ago I had been exchanging a few words about Sufism with Arief, but just a few words, as a proto-discussion via email (will continue? I'm interested in your point of view). it was when I felt I had lost the chance to watch this film. The self, God...

And then, soon afterwards, came the movie....or did I walk toward it??

And now...trying to meet again some words, some sentences in Bab 'Aziz...

豆腐i el blues...i les qüestions ontològiques

I en aquesta transició d’ermitana (bé, no se’n perd l’essència) a consultora, irromp l’amanida de tofu (豆腐) en solitud en un indret ple de gents (ja em coneixen al Kiku-chan, crec). I falta...falta el blues, les darreres troballes, de la Bessie Smith, en Robert Johnson a Asakawa Maki (浅川マキ, quina veu!), tot i que en realitat no em feien falta. No em fan falta. Els trossos de tofu estirats a sobre de les algues, a sobre de l’enciam, amb un desordre harmoniós esborren les gents del voltant, la taula. Bé, a mi sempre se m’esborra tot amb facilitat, cada cop amb més facilitat, per sort. També per sort m’esborro amb facilitat. El tofu allà ajagut, inert, en certa manera fa l’efecte que melodies de blues dels anys 1920s i 1930es. Que és ara. Ara mateix. Deixa d’existir tot el que es creu que existeix. Bé, només es fa evident que no hi era. En un instant. Sempre instants, com el moment de sortir al carrer. Tornar al carrer. Però tot el mateix. No hi ha carrer, no hi ha restaurant, no hi ha plat d’amanida de tofu ni tampoc hi ha blues...i acabo al final entre qüestions ontològiques, com de costum..

Rhetoric

Why does nobody ask a smoker why he/she smokes?

Do smokers have to justify their being smokers?

Why must a vegetarian be asked and justify his/her being vegetarian?

Just a few days around, ergo...

My becoming vegetarian (lacto-ovo-vegetarian, well, rather lacto-vegetarian now since I rarely ate eggs or anything containing egg...in fact i was never laco-ovo-vegetarian but became directly lacto-vegetarian) dates some months back. There was no big and sudden reason -of course-, but gradual changes in my awareness and concerns towards creatures and life. The process was slow and gradual and might have begun earlier than I think and meant some inner changes, aiming improvements. There was a need to be more coherent with some ideas and i was differently aware of each action, of every single moment.


In mid November meat disappeared definitely from my diet but I kept eating fish and sea-related creatures (which was difficult to justify to myself). By the end of 2007, the amount of creatures I ate was sharply reduced. New Year? I don’t believe in such big-purposes-for-the-new-year. I didn't celebrate the coming of 2008, just like the previous year...But the fact is that I took somehow the definitive step toward vegetarianism as the New Year came. I started feeling differently towards sea-creatures in a clearer way and felt ready to take the step. Now I’m more coherent with several ideas and points of view. We’re just for a few days around in this world, so better to contribute the less the better to harmful situations, better to have a more compassionate attitude (there’s already too much harm, too much aggressively, attacks, even in people’s language). Human animals are not that superior as it's said to other animals and in fact we should learn a lot from many creatures. This personal change won’t make many dynamics more sustainable (just like one vote means too little). But the fact is that we’re too small, too almost-nothing, so inhuman and not so rational as we say...Even the fact of writing here about this change is almost-nothing, just like me...but sometimes the tiniest actions reach the less unexpected changes and cause something positive, no matter if it’s something small, something that lasts a couple of seconds.

A hard part is the “social” one. If it was seen as something odd not to drink alcohol and to say “no, I don’t drink alcohol” when being offered a drink meant declaring oneself a strange person (even after several years people who know me keep asking it)...people’s reactions toward vegetarianism aren’t much “better”. Fortunately I don’t care much about this “soft-ostracism”, difficulties and so on. I don’t even care about having to cook twice or to cook several different dishes at home. I don’t even mind having to read the labels on food packages to check the ingredients.

The body is besides quite thankful. Now I feel much better both emotionally and physically and can offer better things and offer a much better attitude. Why now? Had to be now, I guess. After getting proper, decent and good/serious information I could take the step.