Citroën DS, marry me!!!!

I might write love songs for a car...and rather marry a car, a Citroën DS:A car or a man? what a question!...i'd say that a car is better concerning love songs and marriage and i'm in fact talking about a car (it's not a metaphor). Citroën DS...marry me, you're the car of my life! And it/he feels moved by my words and takes me far away to another out-of-nowhere. And maybe, by declaring one's love to a car, it acquires the ability to fly or it/he might become more human than many so-called humans. A car won't let you down but when it/he is sick or dies. A car won't even dare to image to treat you like an object nor lie, nor do any other negative actions...but cars have soul, pure souls. I believe so, and they can accept love with no conditions and will be always thankful if they're properly treated.

Yes...and i could become Y. DS, Mrs DS. And inside him/it, my beloved-car-of-my-life, no worry, no pain...only boosted energy and a handful of dreams to go somewhere else, together. Inside him/it, it's possible to weave dreams, out of clouds seen outside, out of the movement seen through the windows, out of beautiful silhouettes hidden in impossible landscapes.

keep you shiny

keep your engine beating healthily

never let you down,

die together when there are no more roads to go along.

like old-fashioned japanese lovers.

AU SZA LA LA LA!

Here come Shakin' Dudi (Polish band, from the 80es..but still alive!, in which Ireneusz, or Irek, Dudek played)...and their "au sza la la la" (1985)!! and it becomes like some kind of hymn...it feels like becoming a happy Lego figure. Yes! i want to become a customised Lego figure with a happy expression on my face...a happy Lego figure that acquires a soul and wanders across Mongolia...and lies down from time to time to observe the movements of the clouds in a clean sky and think of Polynesian navigators and their stick and shell charts. But it's impossible, and i can just get the spirit of a happy Lego figure listening to Shakin' Dudi. Not bad at all...the roads to reach legohood are many and very different. Regaining a good mood, and enjoying days is a matter of building, like Lego's existence aim. We get the parts, the pieces, the colours... the methods and we have to build something positive by ourselves. Then we reach legohood wellbeing.

siempre suaves!!!

Hoy, de nuevo, uno de esos días en que la necesidad de tener una sobredosis de música de los Suaves no se puede evitar (otras veces ha sido de Gammaray, Marea, Kiss o AC/DC..o incluso melodías darkwave de BlutEngel). También la necesidad de recordar aquallos conciertos de rock, en especial, claro está, el momento apoteósico en que los Suaves (Yosi con la melena cana y la guitarra), en un concierto en Badalona...junio de 2004 (con Rubén y compañía, con la gran ausencia de Verónica), cantaron hacia el final "Dolores se llamaba Lola" (para entonces estábamos ya sólo Rubén, su amigo heviata auténtico, el otro amigo con la camiseta de Iron Maiden...y el chico extraño salido de la nada). Grandes canciones, incluyendo la manera cruda y realista de ver las cosas. "Maldita sea mi suerte", "hotel", "ese día piensa en mí", "dulce castigo", "si pudiera"...

Y hoy es además de muchas cosas, el cumpleaños de mi amigo Juanma (eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! boas! txipirón gran reserva del 81!)..así q le dedico "si pudiera", una de las canciones más positivas de los Suaves, con sabor a himno. Dedicartela me alegra el día...y también saber que tendrás una celebración tras el trabajo (si es que no te transtorna eso del genba con los chicos del bronx..suena a peli del gran Jackie Chan)!!!!

uselessness

write-write-write-type-type-type. Here i am again "pretend you are happy when you are blue" as i read in a book by Murakami Haruki (i don't like his books, though..sorry Murakami-sama), referring to some song. Me...thinking of old stuff, listening to old songs (now,i'm in the 80es in Belgium....TELEX!!!), walking along my personal path to escape from something, many things, things running right after me, following me. Somehow today i met ghosts from the past, such as my dearest feeling of uselessness (waiting for today, huh? after a not-so-good exam?). I fell onto the earth to get lost without a place, without any possibility to reach any aim or dream. Nobody around right now...but there are always pens or keyboards willing to be grabbed/touched gently...press press....a million of combinations of keys waiting for me to be pressed. Useless combinations, useless messages. But i know that suddenly i'll think less about uselessness, when other things pop up violently in my mind. Then comes laughter and silly ideas, and an image of the 6th Dalai Lama, long-haired, dressed in silk (colourful and shiny, i guess) clothes...dancing like Locomia guys, with a huge fan (Think of the typical 80es-look and feel better). Other thoughts: Canon Palmtronic 8M calculator, with happy green numbers...and my loved Smith-Corona electra 120 typewriter (see picture...2nd hand, from the 60es but bought in the 70es), the citroën DS spotted in Firenze with Takehiro (car-spotting-photographing in Italy almost 1 year ago), soft pillows demanding hugs, the memory of a handful of strange dreams, tears mixed up with cotton fabric texture and silent, the beautiful-inside-outside man. And little by litte everything fades away and i get back to some state with is said to be normal. Forget uselessness through useless-ideas-things. Noisy Smith-Corona electra 120 forgotten inside its case inside some cupboard. And then comes some strange and unexpected dream, like usually. Last night i dreamt of me buying pencils. 7B or 8B? harder or softer lead? Too many birds spreading their wings within my head with nowhere to go.

parallelhood

Neither exotropia or esotropia....parallel sight, eyes looking toward the same direction at the same time. Ode to all strabic people. Ode ode ode! 3-D movies will never be 3-D movies to us, but movies with overlapping colours at the borders of images, of silhouettes...colours with nothing to do with the figures, actors, animals, whatevers... wearing or not the magical glasses. Nothing floating on the air, seemingly between a screen and ourselves. Aesthetically, exotropia is beautiful (at least for me), but i was given, by luck or who-knows-what was given the uglier-modality of strabismus to share its life with me (eye-surgery wasn't effective enough but together with glasses it hardly becomes apparent)...in my opinion. But metaphorically esotropia is the best one....esotropic vs. parallel things in life? uhm....i prefer things suffering from esotropia...coincidence, people finding links between each other, meeting points. Maybe my esotropia trascends its physical condition and becomes part of my nature. Here i am, following coincidences, waiting at them at unexpected places, some kind of wish to be unreal, like wanting to be in black and white or out of time, sometimes, to meet other realities. Beeing parallel might not bring many interesting things into life. Like the beloved one behind a glass...lovers walking parallel along an infinite wall of glass...and never meeting. Convergence required...for most important things in life. May metaphorical esotropia be praised.

image above: GARCÍA SANTESMASES, J. Física General . 1968.

buckling and blow-up

Right now, suddenly, i started thinking of something my friend Arief, javanese engineer, used to tell me about: sandwich pannels and their buckling (engineer's proselitism...sandwich pannels, finite element and Richard Feynman in the case of this friend of mine). Thin core, thick core, different buckling...how wonderful (i stil keep that paper you sent me!!but i keep the badly printed version) Something is indeed happening inside me to think about such things now, on a tuesday morning. I also buckle....my soul buckles. it might have the same structure of some sandwich pannel...who knows...nobody has seen souls. But i feel my soul is buckling since yesterday. Assaulted by deformities of all kinds, i accept them and love their inner beauty. deformed reality, deformed ear, deformed soul-structure, deformed strength and words, and voices.

Movies, coincidences and songs save me and prevent that buckling from being irreversible, cronical. Listening to Alphaville and Missing Persons (both from the 80es)...coming across songs i'd have never imagined they existed. Then, Blow up by Antonioni is the movie i'm waiting to watch. The way i got to know it dates back....uhm...a couple of years ago. it was in an article about Serge Gainsbourg (nothing to do with "blow up")...and Jane Birkin...or was it an article about Jane Birkin in which S. Gainsbourg appeared? Anyway...that Antonioni's movie was mentioned. Other elements to be related with that movie had introduced themselves before or were to introduce themselves later.. hi! i'm X or Y element!. Julio Cortázar is one of these early elements. He's been and is still is one of my favourite writers and one of his short stories was part of the inspiration for "Blow up" ("las babas del diablo", which i haven't read). The late elements were Herbie Hancock (soundrack), by whom i have heard some strange song named like an ex- boyfriend of mine (weird!)..and year 1966 (the year of that movie), with so many songs that have trapped me in the past (together with songs from the early eighties). All elements walk towards each other in my mind, and there's "blow up" embracing all of them. Ah! and there's also some deformity in the movie...in the way the main character perceives the art of photography. Imagining a movie...here i am imagining a movie. It's like with love...imagining but having no expectations, to avoid another buckling. And i play je t'aime moi non plus mentally...or i listen to it.

beautiful wheeled creatures

For years (sinc ethe early 90es...right after a car accident we had..after our poor Renault-14's passing away) i've been developing an interest in cars...but not in all cars...actually, i'm becoming more selective as yearsgo by and modern ones are those who i feel are less interesting. And some years ago my interest for East-european cars...staring with the misterious Autovaz and then the immortal Lada Niva (both Russian). Not so long ago i discovered Trabant, from the former East Germany (which i hope to see personally one day, before they disappear from roads). Ah...and the last discovery is the model in the picture, russian, UAZ (уаз) 3962 (fist image) /39094 (the other pic). And...how did i come across such beautiful creature?? it was thanks to a documentary about political repression and its devastation in Mongolia. I did think of this van and fell in love with it...but didn't think about it again, but vaguely. But today, on Cuatro Tv channel, i was checking what was coming after a Jackie Chan movie (i watched some scenes)....and there was another Jackie Chan movie (another!!! the first had something to do with racing cars...and the second with a russian woman, typically named Natasha, as many Russian characters in movies)...and i spotted some uaz 3962!!!! but in their military use version, in typical-military-green. Then i left, without paying much attention to the movie...and came here aiming to finally find the model-name- of this van, which seems to have feelings and to be looking at us with a tender expression...different from that of a Trabant, a happier one, different from the expression of a Lada Niva, which looks funnier....and radically different to that of a Renault 8 (uff!!!), the cars of the scary expression. Ah...but any car substitutes any other...the range of venerated wheeled creatures is just widened...i won't remove the Trabi (trabant) i have in my desktop as wallpaper..a skyblue trabi...uaz 3962 now shares room with Trabi, VW corrado, Citroën DS, some old SEAT, old Datsuns, Renault 8, 5 (the oldest version) fuego , citroën 2CV, and so on...but many of them, in the real world are on the verge of extinction (not oblivion, though, since the list of lovers they have seems to be large from the amount of sites dedicated to them). But beautiful wheeled creatures go to heaven...or reincarnate in birds or in colourful insects...or just in USB flash memories...or forgotten bikes, or kitchen tools or hair pins.